Total Chaos Collision Island
by The Swordslinger
Summary: What happens when Chris manages to summon characters from Blazblue and Guilty Gear for Total Drama Island? Why are you asking me? Read this fic and find out! Rating may go up
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING, if I did then I'd be Daisuke Iwashitari, meaning I'd be a GOD...and that I'd have crossed Blazblue and Guilty Gear a loooooooong time ago!

**XXXXXX**

Unhappy campers don't matter, ratings do

The first thing anyone will see when coming to this famed Island is the Dock of Shame and the Boat of Losers. Standing on the dock was the show's annoying host, Chris.

"Welcome to Total Chaos Collision Island, where several contestants from the famed Blazblue and Guilty Gear Series will merge and compete for the prize of 100,000 bucks. They will face challenges, contests, and each other as they battle it out in the most extreme competition yet," said Chris, a big smile on his face "I'm your host, and THIS…Is Total Chaos Collision Island!"

(Play whatever AWESOMENESS that Daisuke calls music as an intro for us puny mortals)

Chris looked at the camera, his perky grin as always present "Since this is a cross we'll introduce characters by pairs, each one being the equivalent of the other in their games…and what better way to do so than with the protagonists: the legendary and badass bounty hunter Sol Badguy and the very same most wanted criminal Ragna the Bloodedge!"

Sol steps out of the Boat of Losers, a scowl on his face as he scans the area and sniffs, only to make his scowl grow further "Smells like crap" he then cracked a smirk "Boy scout is gonna cry"

Ragna looked around, scratching the back of his head "The hell! I thought that freaking Leech Rabbit said I'd be in a five star hotel"

Chris walked up to them, that smile of his never leaving that smug face "Actually, that was me, I needed to get you two here. Besides, that's just what I said, not the contract" he said waving a piece of paper in front of them. Ragna grabbed the big piece of metal he called a sword to slice the paper and the host in two, but Chris smirked more "Oh, and no weapons!"

"What!" the two protagonists asked in shock, and saw their weapons poof out of existence. But only managed to mutter a baffled "How…" then Ragna grew very angry "Look, you son of a bitch, I'm only here to enjoy the three free days in a suite I won. Just tell me where it is and I'll be on my way"

Chris barely stifled a laugh; Ragna was probably the easiest competitor to fool. So with that perky smile of his he responded "Sorry, no suite for you, yet! First you have to win the competition!"

"Competition? What competition!" asked an irritated Bloodedge.

Sol tapped the other protagonist's shoulder and spoke "Let me explain: you are on live reality TV. This is a competition to see who can survive a simple summer camp. The winner gets huge prizes; the losers get sent away to the dock of embarrassment, leave on the boat of losers, and never come back" as everyone gave him shocked looks he smirked "I signed to be here on my own free will, just to make someone suffer a lot"

Chris nodded in satisfaction as he wouldn't have to explain and his smile grew when he saw another boat "And speaking of making someone suffer and the devil, look who's here!"

To Sol's amusement, and Ragna's horror, the two to step out of the boat were a shocked Ky and a ecstatic Jin.

"Where am I?" muttered the first as he scanned his surroundings "I was told I was going to a rare tea party"

Sol snickered, which made Ky aware of him "I always knew you were a sissy"

"You!" Ky said and took out his sword to fight Sol…only to see it poof out of existence "Wha-"

Chris scolded "I said: no weapons!"

(Meanwhile)

"Brother!" Jin cried as he approached the wanted man who was making a defensive kung fu pose.

"Stay the hell away from me!" Ragna cried.

"But why? I just want to have a lot of fun!" the man cried in a gleefully creepy tone as he took out Yukianesa…and it poofed out of existence, making Ragna let out a sigh of relief "Wha-"

In that moment was when Chris said "I said: no weapons!" he then looked sternly at them. "Look, If you're gonna hate each other or try to...do whatever you want to do to each other, save it for the show and competitions, do so for the sake of the ratings"

Ragna, who was behind Sol and Ky to separate himself from a drooling Jin, while still being in a defensive kung-fu stance, asked in clear despair "And what about the sake of the contestants who'll die by the hands of the lunatics?"

Chris scowled "First of all, don't interrupt me, EVER. Second, this is SURVIVAL, meaning that if your brother wants to have a lot of fun with you he'll do so in the challenges, whatever happens to you it's your own luck"

Jin's mood instantly brightened even more "Wait! So I get to have my brother all for myself in these challenges?" his eyes widened as he shook his fists in the air with pure glee while shouting "YES! YEEEEES! (Bison much?)"

Ky, who was stepping aside with a raised eyebrow, sweat-dropped at the events unfolding "...and this is my equivalent?" he asked in clear disbelief and a bit of fear.

Sol decided to snicker as he turned to Ragna "So he's your little brother? Damn..."

Ragna grumbled in annoyance "Ugh, tell me about it, and if you think he's such an asshole now you should've seen him when we were kids, such a friggin' crybaby..."

Sol let out a hearty laugh and patted his new friend's back "Yeah, only problem with Ky-boy there is: he's such a boy-scout...I mean you even so much as jaywalk and you're a crook, the law and all that" Ragna let out a chuckle and nodded.

But just as Ky was about to make a comeback Chris stepped once again in front of the camera "Now, what better way to get this done than with some cute heroines?" he asked as the four guys heads' turned to the dock…and to widen their eyes "So, the two hardest to get in here are none other than the mistress of different haircuts Millia Rage and the vampire mistress and lover of tea parties Rachel Alucard"

Rachel, accompanied by her two familiars, raised a delicate eyebrow and stated dully "I thought I'd get a real challenge…and all I find is a simpleton that looks like the degenerate with a brother complex, a brutish attempt of a thug and none other than the lost stray dog that I always find crawling as the miserable existence I found ever since day one…no, perhaps even more pathetic than that day, if that's even possible"

Not one of the males took that comment too well if the veins on their foreheads were anything to go by as well as the murdering aura surrounding them. Sol breathed deeply, turned to Ragna and stated "This is her way to say hello to you, isn't it?"

Ragna face-palmed "And I thought it couldn't be worse"

Millia stepped forward, moving her hair away from her face and inspected everyone, her eyes landing on Sol as she let out a chuckle "Whatever brings you here? Cause trouble or annoy someone?"

The large man smirked "A bit of both, and to get some money"

Ragna looked at Millia with a raised eyebrow and a scowl on his face, which didn't go unnoticed by her "Have a problem with me?" she asked rather sternly.

Ragna growled under his breath "This chick just reminds me too much of that bratty Platinum girl…what a pain"

Sol leaned on his new friend's shoulder and discreetly whispered in his ear "Believe me, when she's angry she's a BIG pain"

However, the blond woman had heard them, growling with ideas of making them pay for that. Chris noted that and smirked, happy that someone would cause pain in the show for the rankings, but he still had a show to announce "And here are two we convinced without the money" Everyone instantly rose a brow at the two figures that appeared, though Jin had a very deep scowl on his face and Rachel, while barely noticeable, was narrowing her eyes. Chris saw it though, thus why he smiled "And here they are, none other than the powerful Gear Dizzy and the lieutenant of the N.O.L. Noel Vermillion!"

Dizzy, wide-eyed, gaped "Who are you? And what are you three doing here?" she asked in clear surprise.

Noel panicked at the sight of her boss "Wah! Major Kisaragi!" she then put her arms up in a defensive manner as she saw his scowl grow "Wait! You can't do anything to me! I'm on a vacation and went here for a poem competition!"

Dizzy looked at her companion with a cute confused look on her face "I was told this was a party for people with…well, problems like mine"

Chris chuckled "Well…I may have lied just a little bit…though in here people do have problems like yours, if not they WILL have them" he said barely containing his giggles before turning to see who else would arrive.

"What are you doing here?" asked an angry Ky turning to Dizzy "You Gears have caused already a lot of trouble, why would one like you come here?" he asked sternly and angrily, making the poor dragon girl look down saddened, tears threatening to fall down…until…

"Care to repeat that?" asked a very angry Ragna, putting his angry scowl inches from Ky's face "Come on, I dare you to repeat that, you asshole"

Ky scowled deeper "I just asked that Gear what is its business-"

"Her, you asshat" dryly corrected the silver haired man "She's there listening to you, and she is not an object, she's a person and I bet my own soul she has a name you can use, you bastard" he said, raising his volume with each word. Dizzy went wide-eyed at those words, feeling both thankful and warm at hearing them.

Before the fight could get out of control Chris stepped forward with his biggest smile "And here come our newest contestants"

"KY-KUN!"

Everyone turned as a blur tackled…Jin. The group saw none other than the Chinese chef Jam hugging tightly the blond man with a huge smile on her face "Oh, Ky-kun, Jam missed you soooooo much!" she said rubbing her face into the man's chest, who angrily scowled.

"Get the hell off me, woman!" he shouted, making Jam look up in shock at him, then at the real Ky, and back at Jin.

"Eh! Two Ky's?" asked the confused chef girl.

"It seems this place is going to be populated with idiots" Millia commented.

"Agreed, but it could be worse" Rachel said.

Millia looked at her fellow blonde with a raised eyebrow "How so?"

"It could be-"

"GOOD GUY!"

"-her"

Now it was Ragna's turn to be tackled to the ground as a blur of speed with a happily swishing tail had him pinned down; Taokaka had arrived "Oh, Good Guy, it's nice to see you again, meow! Tao's been so lonely without you passing by to play! You're Tao's very, very, veeeeeeeryyy special friend! And you know how to feed Tao with juicy meat!"

"Tao, get the hell off me and stop talking! You're giving everyone the WRONG ideas…again!" Ragna cried as he attempted to get the happy and stronger than she looked cat off him, but her claws didn't make it easy.

True to his words, Noel and Dizzy were making tomatoes look pale in comparison to their blushes, Rachel's delicate features had contorted a little into a frown that was mostly reserved for a certain ghost, Millia was glaring daggers at Ragna's soul as she obviously classified him as the worst of scum, Jam was blinking but not shocked as she was no stranger to those kind of comments thanks to a lot of her clients so she took those words a bit better than anyone, Ky was also gaping and blushing heavily as he stuttered words to scold Ragna for 'being a bad example for the poor and innocent…cat' and Sol was just on the ground, rolling and laughing his ass off.

Chris turned from the spectacle to the camera, smiling that perky grin of his "Well, I can tell we're going to receive a lot of curious e-mails about that"

Jin for his part had other thoughts "You damned cat, get the hell off my brother!" he cried and charged at the feline girl while his eyes glowed an unholy crimson and his hands made gripping motions for Tao's neck. However, just as he was about two feet from Tao, who still oblivious snuggled into the wanted criminal who tried to pry her off him, a flaming fist came out of nowhere and slammed right into Jin's face.

"NOT SO FAST, YOU EVILDOER!"

Chris smiled "And, taking a break from being the hero of Kagutsuchi and leading a band of pirates here are Bang Shishigami and Johnny!"

"That's right! I, Bang Shishigami, the hero of Ikaruga, its people, love, justice and hope am here! And I shall not allow the likes of scum like you, Jin Kisaragi, to harm none other than my goddess's precious student!" cried the heroic man as he stood between a bruised Jin and Tao…who was still hugging Ragna, Sol trying to help the poor guy taking the cat girl off him.

Johnny for his part took off his glasses, looked around at the women's faces, and then put them back before turning to Chris "Hey you…I thought you said we'd have very beautiful women making us company. I mean, these ones are not bad…but I imagined a bit more of curves…and flesh"

Chris raised a finger and pointed to his side "And I wasn't lying, just look at the next boat" Just as he said that, and when Sol finally got Tao off Ragna, everyone turned to the new boat. There were two figures, one towering everyone and the other getting the attention Johnny wanted to give "Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to our best doctors and new contestants Dr. Faust and Litchi Faye-Ling"

Johnny was more than happy to see Litchi "Oh wow babe! Wanna go and join my crew?"

The poor Chinese doctor sweat-dropped "I'm sorry, but I already have my own patients in my own clinic"

Johnny still persisted "Come on, wouldn't you like to travel around in my ship, see the world and get anything you want as one of my pirates?"

That was more than enough to get Bang's attention "HOW dare you! You shameless pirate criminal! Dishonoring Miss Litchi with y-your LECHEROUS ways! As a law-abiding…HEY!"

Johnny wasn't listening to him because he was already chasing after an escaping Litchi "HEY, WAIT UP, BABE! I REALLY WANT YOU ON MY CREW!"

"I SAID NO!" cried the embarrassed doctor as everyone sweat-dropped while one man got angrier: Bang.

"...YOU...YOU shameless pirate! As an honorable gentleman, I MUST protect Miss Litchi's purity!" cried the ninja as he followed the pirate who chased after the doctor…yeah, nothing weird here.

"Ooooookay…moving on" Chris managed to say to draw everyone's attention.

However, Faust was too busy inspecting Tao "My, my, such an interesting specimen" he said, getting a bit closer to the feline girl who was in Sol's arms after he finally got her off Ragna.

"What is it, you crazy bastard?" asked an irritated Sol, his attempts to get Tao off the silver haired man resulted in some scratches from said Kaka on both males.

"Well, I must say that even if I've been a fan of Miss Litchi's research I haven't had the chance of studying a member of the famous Kaka Clan" The tall man answered.

"Oh, then you're in luck!" Tao said "Tao's the bestest Kaka in Kaka village, Tao's the strongest and the one that sleeps and eats the most!" the girl said with pride.

"Interesting" Faust nodded before looking into his small bag "Now, if only I could see you more thoroughly…in a vivisection"

"Hell no!" Sol and Ragna cried, standing in front of Tao, even if both were covered in scratches from the struggle to get her off the silver haired one of the two, they wouldn't let her be dissected by some weirdo with a paper bag over his head.

However that opening was more than enough for Tao to jump at Ragna's back "Yay! Good Guy wants to protect his kitty!"

At that comment both Chris and Sol had to stiff their laughter at the double meaning of those words while the rest just sweat-dropped, but the vampire had a narrowed gaze directed to the cat girl, the gunslinger was trying to glare at said Kaka with a big blush on her face and the innocent Gear was looking at that scene sadly and seemingly hurt.

"Well, let's leave these two lovebirds to their business as we get back with the show" Chris said with a merrier mood than usual "And here come our next contestants, a rather hard to convince pair, but nothing impossible with a few lies…and here they are, the lone samurai girl Baiken and the white clad swordsman Hakumen"

"Oh shit" Ragna and Sol exclaimed at the same time while they were now back to get Tao off the former's back and staring at the pink haired samurai woman looking coldly at them with the white armored man looking…well, it was hard to say if he was happy or not with that mask of his.

There was an uneasy silence, broken only by Litchi's cries for Johnny to stop chasing her, the pirate's pleas and offers, and the ninja's yells of indignity and rage towards the blond man. Then Chris stepped in, smiling his all too familiar I-love-to-make-you-suffer-because-it's-good-for-the-ratings smile, a very evil smile if you knew him.

Seeing that smile, Baiken glared "You're in my black list…and making a good way to the top, you narcissist bastard"

Chris chuckled "Oh, if they gave me a penny for every time I heard that…"

"You didn't mention the Beast being here" Hakumen said as he noted Ragna, who had once again managed to get Tao off him.

"Oh, I didn't? My bad" Chris said a bit too perky, making the two newest contestants glare more at him. He smiled, then turned to his side with a wider smile "Well, lookit here, even more contestants!"

"JOHNNY!"

The instant that voice was heard the pirate stopped dead in his tracks after the beautiful doctor, turned and let his jaw fall to the ground…oblivious of the still charging Bang, who bumped into him, both big men rolling down the hill they had been moments ago and ending, somehow, at the feet of the two newest contestants, a scowling May and a weirded out Carl, who held onto his 'sister' when he noted the little girl beside him carried a huge anchor with an angered expression on her face directed to Bang.

May was angered, no one hurt her captain, NO one: "What are you doing to my Johnny? You…you…" at that moment she finally noted Bang's appearance: manly chest exposed, bare for all to see, a strong face with a spark of young life and battle hardened eyes…she soon was a bit lost "You…very sexy…person?" she mumbled to herself, no one heard that…except the boy with the top hat.

"Excuse me…Miss May, right?" Carl started, an eyebrow raised but composing himself like a gentleman "Bu I have to ask: what could possibly make you attracted to people in such…ahem…advanced age?"

May's mood did another one eighty spin: "Take that back!" she yelled, raising her anchor high in a threatening manner.

"Hey, you shitty bastard, didn't you say 'No weapons'?" Ragna asked concerned for the kid's soon to be lacking health.

But Chris, as usual, waved it off with a smile "I don't think an anchor can count as a weapon"

Carl saw the anchor coming right to his head, his life flashing before his eyes…and coincidentally stopping in her sister's advices in what to do when angering a girl: "I-I mean, I don't understand how can someone as…cute, no, I mean, beautiful as you could have her heart taken that easily!" the boy cried in a hurry…and it worked, the anchor stopped an inch from his face, the closeness to Heaven's gates made the poor kid's shaky legs surrender to his weight, letting Carl fall into his butt with a shocked look on his face.

However, the spectacled boy wasn't the only one shocked, May now had a small blush on her face "Me…cute…and beautiful?" she asked putting her anchor in one shoulder, using her free hand to point at her face covered in disbelief. Carl nodded, making her blush more and causing the girl giggle happily with a wide smile with her free hand now cupping her cheek "Oh, you're just saying that…" she said, spinning a bit in her toes.

As Nirvana helped her master up, everyone gave a collective sigh of relief at the lack of gray matter spilled on the floor, Sol asking no one in particular "What kind of star was that kid born under?"

Chris shrugged "I don't know and I don't care, at least it made him keep his position as a camper"

Sol glared at the man "You slimy son of a-"

"Hey, hey, this is a worldwide TV show. Besides, there are kids around" the way Chris said those words meant that he was actually more concerned by the show's image than the two kids "And speaking of kids, here are our two newest campers. Give it your all for the cute Bridget and…umm…"

"It's Luna" said the cloaked girl standing beside the other 'girl' that was playing with red yoyos.

"Yeah…right" said an uneasy host.

"Hey, don't 'Yeah…right' me, you jackass!" Luna angrily shouted.

"Um…it's Luna, right?" the blond youth next to the cloaked girl asked, the yoyos back in his pockets, when she angrily turned to him she raised an eyebrow underneath her hood at his extended hand "My name is Bridget, I'm a bounty hunter and it's a pleasure to meet you" he said smiling warmly.

Everyone who didn't know of Bridget's true gender stared at the 'girl's' cuteness while those who did know he was a man just gave raised eyebrows at how the girl looked at him through her hood. It seemed as if Platinum's mouth were twisting in zigzag lines until it finally calmed and another voice spoke from it, a boy's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Bridget. I'm Sena, the person you met earlier is Luna, another persona in this body" the male voice said as the cute blond gave a quizzical look.

"So you and Luna are one?" he asked cutely tilting his head to the side, making a blush appear on the hooded person's face, which did not go unnoticed by the other persona in that body.

"Hey, Sena! What do you think you're doing looking at this girl like that when Luna's even prettier?" Luna yelled.

"H-Hey…I'm n-not looking at her like that!" Sena defended himself.

Chris smiled at the campers and the cameras "Don't you just love conflicts of the heart and mind? Because this is the first time I see a case where it happens in the same body"

Bridget, gathering a bit of courage, stood forwards and tapped Platinum's shoulder, getting her attention…Luna's "What is it, you bimbo?" she asked, anger more than obvious.

The blond fidgeted but replied as best he could "Well…how do I say this? …mmm, I-I don't think I could be as pretty as you…I mean, it's because you're a very pretty girl and I'm…I'm…"

But as he tried to explain, Luna instantly thought she knew the answer "You think you can't be as pretty as Luna, right?" she asked, cockily "Well, that's fine, Luna's the prettiest of them all for a reason, and you're almost as pretty as Luna, unlike those other shriveled old prunes"

The males were quiet and/or enjoying this weird situation with grins or perplexed looks, but that statement got different reactions from the present females:

Rachel – "Such blatant arrogance from someone so young does require a fitting punishment"

Millia – "I better have heard wrong, for her own good"

Noel – "But I'm not even that old…I'm even younger than her"

Dizzy – "But…I'm…I'm still very young"

Jam – "Oh, she did NOT call me old!"

Tao – "Tao's not old! Tao's still a kitten!"

Litchi – "Who's she calling old?"

Baiken – "If that brat doesn't watch her tongue I'll cut it"

May – "How dare she? I'm at least her age!"

Bridget, noting the women's anger, tried to calm the situation "Well, Luna…I feel flattered but still-"

"Oh, don't need to be so shy, Bri, can Luna call you Bri? It's a name fitting for a girl almost as pretty as Luna" the girl cut him off with a growing grin on her face.

Carl, who couldn't take his eyes off Bridget, looked at his sister with a smile "Bridget's really pretty, isn't she, sis?" he asked his 'sister' who said nothing but seemed to look at him…apprehensively.

"Umm, Carl" May chimed, tapping his shoulder "Actually, Bridget is actually a he…he's a boy"

"Wait, WHAT?" asked above half of the campers, shocked, even Chris: "Oh come on, look at that cutie…there's no way that could be a dude like me and the rest in here"

Johnny put his hand on the host's shoulder, looking down with a defeated look on his face "Believe me, it was a shocker for me too"

A still shocked Chris shook his head and turned to the newcomers "Well, let's leave our doubts about Bridget aside and welcome our newest campers" He said as Tager was walking, carrying a lot of things with a lot of effort even if he was damn big and very built. Chris smiled at his suffering, it was good for the ratings "This guy was forced thanks to my new associate, who will now have him busy with being a pack mule and bringing ALL of the stuff for our challenges..."

"Some help would be nice" Tager said, but, unbeknown to him, there was a banana peel casually placed on his path…and he didn't notice until it was too late: " Wo...WHOA!"

Tager tripped on the peel, juggling a massive docking board, several coats of paint, a bunch of fireworks, and a large sink for some reason. And as he almost falls..."Easy there, comrade" a voice said as two huge hands stop him, then the coats of paint are taken from him, the large sink, and the fireworks as well. Tager looks forward, seeing a massive muscle bound man staring at him with beady white eyes.

"Comrade?" asked the confused red man.

Potemkin nodded "Yes. You are a comrade, who prides himself on his strength, yes? Then you are Potemkin's comrade in strength"

Tager couldn't help but be silent for a few seconds, before he put down his board, making Potemkin put down his stuff. The two massive men stared at each other, before their fists slam into one another, a rare grin on each face.

"Iron Tager"

"Potemkin, Comrade Tager"

Chris raised an eyebrow "Ok, that was weird, kinda manly, but weird. Anyhow, Tager, we need you to put that stuff in the kitchen"

"Understood" Tager sighed as he grabbed his stuff, but was pleasantly surprised when some of it was in his new friend's hands.

"They say two heads think better than one" Potemkin said as he gave a grin Tager returned, both walking to the kitchen.

"Oh, and here are even more campers" Chris said cheerfully, before turning to Baiken without losing his smile, making all alarms in her hear blast loudly.

"Why, oh why do I have the feeling you told him something retarded?" she asked.

He smiled "Why, because I believe I told Anji you were being tortured on the island…oh, and that Tsubaki girl heard wind of Jin, Ragna the Bloodedge, and Noel here, and headed to this place as soon as she could!" the host said way too happily as Anji arrived and looked everywhere with a worried look.

"So this is where Hime-sama...Don't worry, I'll help her and MAKE the scum who hurt her pay…" the shirtless man said as he adjusted his glasses darkly. And as he walked forward, a blur rushed past him and drew a sword, rushing for to his eyes, was an innocent girl. Anji was silent at first, before flipping forward and slamming his foot down on the woman's sword arm, his arm swinging out and being blocked by a shield.

Tsubaki growled "WHO ARE YOU? THIS IS NOL CONCERNS!"

Anji however kept his cool "...I only saw you about to strike down a defenseless girl, I aimed to protect her. I am Anji. One of the last of the Japanese"

Tsubaki replied calmly too "...Tsubaki Yayoi" then she stopped her kindness "NOW STAND DOWN! THAT WOMAN THERE IS A CRIMINAL OF THE WORST KIND!"

Anji actually smiled as he put his fans up in a defensive manner "Won't do that. A gentleman protects the defenseless"

"Anji…" Baiken said as she started to walk up to him.

"Yes, Hime-sama" the man said very cheerfully.

Baiken soon killed that mood "You've been tricked like the idiot you are, just like this redhead nun wannabe"

Before Tsubaki could reply or say a thing Chris stepped forward "Now, now, while some of you may be criminals, in here my main benefactor has given me a dream team of lawyers to avoid ANY sort of trouble with this mess, meaning, you all will have to ignore your crimes and with NO weapons. So, no bounties in here are valuable, you all better stop thinking about selling or killing one another…and just try to give the show as much ratings as you can while failing to support each other"

Baiken glared at Chris, hard "I hate you soooooo much" then snarled at Anji "And you, teme, stop following me"

"But I was told you were in danger, nee-chan, I couldn't leave you alone" the spectacled man defended himself "Besides, that guy is at fault here for lying to me" he said hooking a thumb at the show's host.

"Hear that everyday" Chris waved before smiling to the dock "And here is the easiest one to fool and the easiest one to convince"

Everyone turned to see a familiar silver haired 'japanese' man and a cute squirrel half-ling. Chris couldn't help but smile and turn to the campers "Now, Chipp here actually believes that the island is a secret Ninjutsu goldmine and rushed to find what he wanted. As for Makoto…well, she kind of hear wind of Tsubaki and Noel at the same place…and I think that little bird told her they were fighting to the death"

Everyone agreed on one thing: they HATED Chris.

Chipp however was ecstatic as he hadn't heard the host's words "ALRIGHT! This place SMELLS just like a Ninja! Of sweat, blood, suffering, and the tears of their victims! NIN NIN! Desu! HAHAH! This IS gonna be awesome!"He shouted as he ran off the docks, and prepared to jump into the tree-line...

But a blur of motion is seen from the corner of his eye, as he sees Anji stopping a redheaded chick in a weird hat from hurting a blond girl...and then, BADDA BIM BADDA BA BOOOM! He skid to a halt as the mother of ALL babes ran forward to stop the three people fighting. Brown hair with the most adorable little pair of ears, a BANGING pair of tits, a great ass, mini-skirt, low cut top, Squirrel Tail. THIS was his chance!

"OH YEAH! Time to lay on the charm, and try out the best art a Ninja can learn...Seduction 101!"

However, Makoto was busy: "TSUBAKI! STOP!"

"M-MAKOTO?" asked a very shocked Noel as she saw her friend running to save her.

"First Rule of a Ninja...Don't be seen, nor heard" our favorite ninja wannabe said as he moved silently, and without warning, Tsubaki was knocked back from Anji, Makoto was surprised to see a silver haired man in front of her, a serious look on his handsome face.

Tsubaki:" You...Are you from Ikaruga?"

Chipp however kept up with his act 'Second _rule of a Ninja. You take down the target quickly, and without being stopped_' He moved even faster than before, knocking her shield and sword away from her and hitting several pressure points on her body that make her seize up.

'_Third Rule of a Ninja. You make sure they don't get back up'_

"WAIT! She's a friend!" he heard the cutie beside him yelling, instantly forcing him to a stop before the coup de grace.

"Wait, WHAT? Ooooh...this is getting complicated..." the man said as he grabbed his head…he could use some of his pi- good medicine!

"And the fight was already over" Chris said stepping forward, before pointing to everyone's weapons…which instantly disappeared. He smiled, put his hands together as if in a prayer, and looked up at the sky "Thanks, my dear anonymous benefactor"

"Noel, what's going on here?" asked an angry Tsubaki.

Makoto put herself between the two "Come on, can't you stop your fighting this once"

"Um…not to be rude, but what is happening here?" Chipp asked rubbing the back of his head.

"I was going to ask the same thing" Ky said as he stepped and looked at Tsubaki "As a fellow member of the forces of justice I have to ask what's your business here"

The redhead looked at him puzzled "What do you mean, Major Kisaragi?"

A sweat drop appeared in the blond man's head "Um…my name is Ky, Kiske Ky"

"Tsubaki, Jin is there" Makoto said pointing a finger where said other blond man was.

Instantly Tsubaki's eyes widened as she looked from one man to another in clear shock "Wait a minute…two Jin's? Two…? Two…" she said, as slowly she looked back and forth with a slowly growing blush.

Jam noted said blush "Hey sister, get in line, I saw them first!"

Tsubaki couldn't reply, she did glare at the Chinese girl, but Chris once again stopped it with the two newest arrivals "And here we have our…well, weirdest contestants" everyone turned and saw a mass of black…goo, and the nervous looking man beside it with a heart headband.

Arakune was the first to speak "... Eee. Eee w fo er..." said the disgusting pile of ooze, bones, and insects slithers around the dark corners of the ship, searching for the Azure. Strangely, it felt THREE Azure's instead of one, so Arakune was confused on which one to attack first. However, the man beside him called his attention even more:

"WWWWEEEEEE!" Zappa slammed his face into the walls of the boat rapidly, before being lifted up by an unseen force and slammed around like a ragdoll all over the Dock of Shame. After that he skid in front of Arakune's mask.

The pile of black goo looked at him curiously "...oo ied. N't nt o at. Ot asty."

Zappa, however, instead of replying was still possessed and began to…sing, badly: "Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as now, BUT THEN I ATE IT!" he sand out in a girly voice, then screamed the last part out demonically. After that he giggled again, then rolled up into a ball and somehow bounces around the dock.

Arakune just kept on looking at the man curiously "...ot asty t ll" Zappa eventually flew out of the runway, the black ooze following his bounces, curious about this weird, weird, bouncing man.

Chris, weirded out by all of this but not as much as some of the others, was the first to speak "Ok…didn't see that coming, but let's just hope this helps the ratings"

Faust meanwhile grabbed his chin in deep thought as he looked at the black ooze "Such an interesting biological multi-constitution with several complex living beings in one that is a mixture of both simple and complex structures" everyone gave him a WTF look before he giddily skidded behind Arakune "Wait up! I really want to test you!"

Then, somehow, the poor possessed man regained control, and seeing Faust, Zappa could barely control himself anymore, he rushed towards the towering doctor.

"F-Faust! Doctor Faust r-right!" Zappa asked shakily.

Faust stood up in one swift motion to his full 9'3'' of height and stared at the man and the goo before him through his eyehole.

"Hm? Wazzup bros?" he asked giving both of them the peace sign.

"I-I've heard that you could cure any sickness of the human body right?" Zappa asked eagerly.

Faust cocked his head to the side "Well, yeah…I was known to be a 'doctor' in which I studied the right human dissecting processes-!…But I think I'm a bit more interesting in your new friend" he said pointing at Arakune.

" ut I m in er sted n th s ma "

"Uh? N-no that's not it…you see-!" Zappa started before the paper bag headed man dragged him away from the other campers.

"This is _serious_ talk! No one must hear! Top Secret! Mission Impossible! Let's get on with the surgery!" Faust shouted dragging the poor man with him to the forest, before turning to the black ooze "Would you like to help?"

Arakune, while having lost his body, was still a scientist in all of his disgusting cells " t'd e my ple su e"

"W-wait! S-surgery? Gyaaaaaaah!" Zappa shouted.

(An awkward moment of silence later)

"What the heck's that all about?" asked an uneasy Chipp.

"Beats me..." Ky replied.

"I pity the guy who got dragged away…" Ragna sighed.

"Whew! Finally the baldy is gone!" May shouted getting out of her hiding spot behind Johnny and Bang.

"Well, now we have to wait for our two last contestants" Chris said as he looked at the water for any nearby boat.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and ask…who the hell is it this time?" asked an annoyed Ragna.

Sol nodded "This day makes a walk in a creep show look normal. So, who's coming next?"

Chris smiled…meaning bad news "Why, I believe I invited the only two persons that needed no real motivation to be here save all of you being here…because they LOVE to annoy the lot of you"

(One second later)

Everyone's eyes snapped wide open in shock "Wait, you don't mean-"

XXXXXX

(In the boat)

Hazama was leaning on the boat's wall looking at the island. He heard everyone of his old trolling targets were together at one location, so saying sayonara to Saya and Relius, he ran off to troll everyone he can. He never cared for what those two did anyway. Fun over work, he always says.

I-No however was sent to the Island by That Man to make sure all of reality doesn't split from the meeting of the Black Beast, the Eye of the Azure, Sol, AND Dizzy. She also took it as a vacation and trolling opportunity...then saw Hazama and tried to troll him.

Hazama inhaled the air in ecstasy as he looked at the island through binoculars he stole from the captain of the boat "Ah...This looks like it'll be a FINE time to troll...Now...let's see, OOOH! So many _fun_ looking trollees for this troller! Hmm...no, no, no, maybe, OH YES, yes, no, no, not now, later, and HELLO RAGS. Gehehe...time to get to work..." He whipped out a pair of shades, and swaggers forward with a laugh, stumbling upon the red wearing witch.

"Yo Tiny. You got a sec?" she said with a mirthful and lustful tone. Hazama's eyes slit behind his shades, making him turn around and look up. On the boat, was a foxy lady, black hair, a red witches cape, a revealing outfit not even a hooker would wear, and a Guitar…for him this babe was a perfect target to avoid the boredom of waiting.

However, she caught his eyes on her "See something you like? Too bad you can't have. You're WAY too scrawny and weak looking for me. Why don't you eat your Spinach and see me in a while?"

Hazama actually laughed, this woman thought she could troll HIM? Not a chance: "...GAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHA! WOOOWWW! YOU SUCK! IS THAT IT? MANNN! YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTIN' ME!"

I-No growled"...You want to go you limp-dicked ass-bandit?"

"Wooow! No need to curse honey, cursing is a sign of the unoriginal, afterall!"

"So you're an unoriginal egg-sucker then? You couldn't beat even a baby seal. That's crippled!"

"Nice try, but you'll NEED to troll a LOT better than that, babe..."

"...Babe? You playing on the other side of the fence then? Could've fooled me with how GAY your green hair is."

"Not bad! You're doin' BETTER! GAHAH!"

I-No clenched her teeth, the same happening with Hazama, both were meeting their equal.

'_DAMN! This guy ain't crackin'! Time for Plan B. AND I love Plan B'_ she thought mischievously while putting a hand on the only thing keeping her valley hidden "Hey big guy, get a load of these" in one second Hazama was flashed and greeted with a GREAT sight.

But you think that can get the God of Trolling? Of course not! "Wow, you dress like a skank, and ACT like a skank. I'm not even THE least bit surprised!"

I-No mentally growled 'Not _a single DROP of blood...DAMN he's good!_'

However, Hazama was actually enjoying the show 'What _a BABE. That rack is even BETTER than the big titted Chinese whore's...'_

I-No calmed herself after hiding her blossom "Fine. What's your name, tiny?"

The ghost chuckled "Hazama. BUT everyone calls me Terumi...Gehehee..."

The witch smirked "I-NO. But everyone calls me the Red Bitch"

"Hehehe...I can SEE why"

Then…it just seemed as if time had stopped for the two as Hazama took off his shades and stared at her evil and sadistic eyes while I-No saw at the pure evil in his….

I-No was the first to speak "...Say. Want to fall madly in love and TROLL the hell out of people?"

"Hmmm...sounds tempting, but do I want STD's?"

"Well, you'll never know if you don't take me for a spin, Hazama"

"Hehehe...this is the start of a beautiful relationship..."

**XXXXXX**

**That's a rap for now! Next chapter we'll see our campers' first challenge and how they get along in this craziness. And, as some of you might have noticed, Ragna is going to be kind of the MC, and will have a lot of troubles with four girls after him: Rachel, Noel, Tao and Dizzy. He and Sol will face a LOT of misfortunes as not only the trolls who found love in each other will mess up their shit, but also Chris's challenges will drive everyone crazy…**

**Can they survive the madness?**

**I kind of don't think so…**

**Swordslinger out!**


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING, I wish I did, maybe I could rule the world with awesome weapons and armies of weapons of the Apocalypse given sexy female form.

**XXXXXX**

You have to sock it

Time seemed to slow down as an army of glares of utter hatred met with a duo of utter evil. Chris simply enjoyed the show.

"Miss I-No!"

Turning their attention to the voice of none other than the young cross-dressing boy everyone was greeted to the weird sight of Bridget happily hugging the witch. Now everyone was shocked. Hazama then got his most evil grin on and looked at the other campers, just daring them to say something in front of the innocent boy that was hugging so tightly the ghost's new trolling partner in oblivious joy. I-No simply patted the boy's head. So, as evil as the two of them were none of the campers present felt like saying something that might ruin Bridget's innocence… ignorance was bliss…

Damn his cuteness!

But two personas were already planning how to help the 'girl' as they thought Bridget to be: "Sena, you and Luna have to help Bri, otherwise we'll lose the first person to recognize Luna as the prettiest!" the girl said aloud, getting a confused stare from Carl.

"But isn't Bridget a… what happened to them? Weren't they listening?" he asked, finally over his shock of Bridget's true gender.

Chipp's hand rested on his shoulder, "I know, but it seems she was so caught up into being called pretty by him that she just tuned out everything around her, listening only to what she wanted to hear from his mouth."

Chris just decided to step forward and motion everyone to look at him, "Well, let's save the hugs and kisses for later, we have stuff to get done. Now, as a tradition in this show, I'll need every single one of you to get together for a nice photo."

"You've got to be joking." Baiken growled with a glare directed at the host.

"Now, now, nee-san, a photo sounds fun, don't it?" the happy dancer of her fan said with a beaming smile.

Baiken's glare and voice dripping of sarcasm killed his mood, "Oh yeah, a fun photo with the psycho bitch and that scrawny asshat, I'm so looking forward to it."

The green haired troll then grinned at them as he stood in front of the witch hugging her favorite boy, and 'errand' boy, with a large grin on his face, "Oh my, my, such language from such a lady… heh, I'd expect such sarcasm and cynicism from someone like Rags over here." said silver haired man growled at the ghost. "But in all true honesty, I bet an attitude like that means you sure had a fun childhood, am I right? Come on, you can tell me, I bet you've had a grand old time with BOTH hands full!"

Everyone gasped and stepped away, even Chris. I-No just looked on with a smile; she sure knew how to pick herself someone fun. Baiken on the other hand wasn't having nice thoughts directed at the green haired troll, her one and only eye glaring red hot glowing daggers at the man that she obviously put near the top of her 'To Kill' list, a second close to That Man and I-No.

"You sure got guts," the samurai woman replied in a low, terrifyingly calm growl, "I'd like to see them being painfully ripped from your insides by my sword."

"Hehehehe! I've heard better threats by Raggie there." the troll said in clear amusement.

Bridget snuggled closer to the 'safety' of his favorite witch themed rocker, "Miss I-No, why would you be paired with such an evil man?"

I-No gave the kid a smile and replied, "Well, I dunno, but at least he's fun. Though one thing's for sure, he's not that evil, I mean, remember that cyclops? She's a very bad woman, isn't she, Bri-baby?"

Suddenly everyone's favorite shota's eyes snapped open in realization, "Y-you're right, she's that bad wanted woman." he gasped in shock. Then it hit him: "Then that Mr. Hazama isn't a bad person if he's standing up to such a bad lady! He surely must be some kind of hero!"

Somewhere, oh somewhere, some deity must be looking down at the poor kid and feel sorry for him, just like the rest of the campers and even Chris, though he didn't care that much, if this got him some drama then he was happy. But the host had a job to do:

"Now now, campers, we need stuff to do, so please, gather up for a photo and procure to smile… as if you could do harm to that person you hate the most."

XXXXXX

Now all campers were at the campfire for their small explanation of what would happen and how things would be done, Chris as perky as always after a photo with a LOT of forced smiles, the only ones who smiled truthfully bright smiles were the trolling duo and the cross-dressing boy, still oblivious of said trolls' evil nature.

"This is the campfire pit, where the campfire ceremony will take place. However, unlike our previous seasons… we won't have teams." He smirked, rather evilly.

"But, wasn't the show always about working together as teams?" Sol asked, feeling something fishy about it.

Chris sighed, "Truth is, we were out of ideas for the placement of team members due to all of you being unstable no matter who you're paired with…" that perky grin returned with a vengeance, "So I decided to screw the rules, I'm the host, and I say I want all of you out for each other's blood from day one. We still have the voting system as well as the games. The campers who do more poorly than the others in the challenges will have to come to the campfire ceremony, and the rest of the campers will vote someone out. That means they are out of the competition." Several campers grinned, those with an evil nature more than others while the rest felt nervous or excited. "And this is the outhouse. If anyone of you feels like sharing anything with the world then you're free to do so, and don't' worry, it's private."

XXXXXX

-**Confession**-

-**Ragna**: I already know I will hate this place… there's the damn bunny-leech, a lot of people who want me either dead or…*shudder* to do things I can't say out loud in here… and then there's Hazama… and I don't need to say how much I HATE that bastard. But… on the bright side, there are some that aren't asshats, Noel may be a crybaby but she's kind of ok, Tao's a pain in the ass but you kind of get used to it, Sol's cool in my book and I think that, out of all the women I've met, Dizzy might be the first to be someone I might like, because unlike them she isn't out for my blood.

-**Dizzy**: The challenges are cruel… If Johnny or May lose… I don't know what I could do. Not to mention, what if I'm the first one to get expelled? I wanted to use the money to help the Jellyfish Pirates, and getting some help doing the chores there…*Sigh* It's just so bizarre. Ky was good to me but now he seems to hate me for some reason… But…*blush* the way Ragna reacted… he seemed so brave and… Wait, can you edit that out?

-**Ky**: Just to clarify, I don't hate Dizzy… I feel ashamed of what I did, but she's a Gear, and I, as a knight of this world and its order, have to be… harsh on her… I still have to thank Mr. the Bloodedge for being protective of her… Even if his attitude does remind me of Sol's, I'll try to bear with it.

-**Rachel**: Ragna protecting that little girl? I thought better of him, but then again he does have the company of that one Kaka girl who I swear is hyperactivity made flesh. Still, Ragna knows that what is best for him is to be waiting for my next words, and I have methods to make it so. –**Gi**: Princess, it sounds as if you want him to be with- YEEEEOOOOWWWW! Sorry, sorry, SOOOOOrrryyyyyy…!

XXXXXX

"Now, time for you campers to get used to your new homes." Chris said as he lead the groups into the camp, "This time the cabins will be divided for boys and girls due to… well, let's just say it'll make the rankings interesting, and what makes ratings interesting makes MY life enjoyable. That plus ethics and all that jazz. But, if you guys want to choose, well, be my guest and enter the one on the right side. The simple act of entering that cabin will give the first camper, regardless of his or her gender, the right to choose which cabins are for the guys or the ladies, is that all clear?"

"Yeah, you think we're stupid enough to not believe it's a trap?" Makoto asked with a look of disdain, she was starting to really dislike the way the host spoke.

Chris grinned from ear to ear, "Well, you say it's a trap, I say it's fun… Fun for yours truly."

"Can I hit him, please?" May asked as she hefted her anchor on her shoulder and glared at the host.

"Hey, part of your contract is not to harm this face." The host said, aiming two thumbs at his face, and May's anchor disappeared, "Now, that's what I call good help, oh great anonymous benefactor of mine." He bowed with his hands clasped as if in a prayer.

The two casts glared at him but stood in front of their cabins where they were supposed to sleep, their challenge awaiting inside. Suddenly, a roar could be heard from inside one of them. The contestants flinched, getting a slight chill. No animal made a noise like that. Their bodies quivered as they slowly approached the door. As their reach was nearing the door, a loud snarl came from inside, causing them to gulp in hesitation. After pausing briefly, they reached once more, feeling as if they were about to break into a cold sweat.

Just as their feet began to brush against the steps, the door burst open, a blur darting past them; Sol turned first, taking sight at whatever had been ejected from the cabin with his body tense and ready to smash what it was. It appeared to be nothing more than a sizable pile of clothes. Everyone puzzled, took a step towards the pile. But before they could further inspect it, something shot out of the doorway, wrapping around Carl and Bridget's legs, taking a firm hold of the two.

"WHAT THE?" Baiken yelled, caught off guard.

What appeared to be some sort of tentacle had formed a tight grip around the two boys. They struggled, mustering all their strength, grabbing hold of it with their teeth to tear it apart. They pulled at it vigorously, literally tearing it into pieces, and quite easily at that. It squealed, retreating back into the cabin, leaving everyone dumbfounded.

"What has just happened?" asked Jam.

She looked down at what little pieces remained in the floor from his attacker. Despite its strong attachment to the boys, it had been made of cloth. The ripped fragments, upon closer examination, appeared to be…sleeves. Were they being attacked by some sort of possessed clothing?

Before they could attempt to make sense of the matter further, several other tentacles shot out from the doorway. Apparently, whatever it was, was merely regrouping. One tentacle grabbed Jin around his head and keeping his mouth shut, another took a hold of a now screaming and disgusted Litchi, and another took hold of May. Their hold was much tighter this time. Bang, seeing Litchi in danger ran to the tentacle and tried to tear it apart while also biting on it, attempting to get the offending cloth limb off the Chinese doctor, but it was different this time. The tentacles were now of stronger material, much denser than before. They were heavier, with numerous layers of clothing over each part.

"Don't worry, Miss Litchi, I shall save you or die trying!" Bang pulled and pulled, but it did little to loosen their grip on the Chinese doctor. And he and the others still had no clue as to what he was dealing with. Their answer came soon enough.

From the doorway emerged a large bulky mass of, what appeared to be, clothing in the shape of a large octopus. Numerous pieces of swirling clothing made up its almost blob like form. Shirts, pants, socks, everything was a living moving part of its body. Not to mention it gave off a stench that could drop a charging rhino. Moving closer to the group, it made a gurgling sound, giving the possible notion of hunger.

"What…the heck…are you!" Hazama shouted while struggling like all the other contestants to hold his breath.

Chris chuckled from behind them, hidden from behind a barricade of sandbags and wearing an army helmet as well as a gas mask, "That's Owen's laundry!" he shouted to the unluckiest campers in existence, "Believe me, we've tried everything to get rid of it, but since we now have a cast of super strong people we've decided to make it fun."

"Son of a-" The ghost couldn't finish his curse as the creature moved closer, a shirt close to the middle of what he assumed was its head, bent into the shape of an eye, taking a closer look at its captives. "Well, it was nice meeting them." he said as he turned around, only to find his leg caught, "The fu-" and that was all he said before another tentacle wrapped itself around his mouth and dragged him back. The laundry monster then opened a slit, with several petrified socks over its borders acting like teeth for its mouth. And if anyone thought its smell was bad, the breath of this unnatural creature was far worse.

However, Ragna was at a loss, "Ugh… save everyone or let Hazama die as a pile of garbage's food… Why must the world make me choose like this?" he groaned, the decision of his life at his hands… Which was interrupted by a walking Faust.

The large doctor rummaged in his small, fourth dimension bag, pulling random objects out such as a bone-saw, a rubber chicken and even a shining grail. He stopped once finding what he wanted, "Ah, here it is, the medicine needed for bad clothes." And he pulled out a bottle of detergent.

The monster's "eye" widened in horror as it hissed at the insanely tall doctor like some feline beast terrified or simply being sprayed with lots of cold water. Its tentacles let the campers free, letting them fall and making Bang make the mental note to thank Faust for having Litchi fall into his arms. Faust shook the bottle and approached the monster, making it whimper pitifully and hide back inside the cabin.

Soon, everyone looked at the psychotic paper-bag headed man, "Is there a problem?" he asked as he crouched down, getting to eye level with others.

"How did you get to make what I was hoping to be the best first torture of this show into something so… anti-climatic?" Chris asked in his baffled stupor.

Faust chuckled, "This is a special detergent I made. It is not easy to get blood stains off this coat." He said, tugging at his very white, clean, soft and fresh lab-coat.

"Regardless, hey, you bastard, what was that about tortures?" Baiken asked as she approached the host with her only eye narrowed dangerously.

Chris smiled that perky grin, knowing his ass was still safe, "Hey, you didn't expect this show to be all bubbly and happy, did you?" he then turned to the cabins, "Besides, I honestly wanted you guys to get in there. We haven't cleaned it since the last campers arrived, it makes me wonder how that thing survived in there."

The creature emerged, sluggishly grabbing the doorframe with its tentacles, struggling to balance its own weight. It drunkenly weaved from side to side, pale spots of green visible all over. It looked as if it was convulsing, gasping for breath, piece by piece of clothing falling off, becoming lifeless upon touching the ground, as it appeared to be starting to wither.

"You're right. It's a miracle it stayed alive." Rachel agreed, pulling a handkerchief to cover her mouth and nose, "What in the name of good hygiene do you have in there?"

"How should I know? I don't do the laundry here, and I never bothered to enter those cabins unless there were campers to annoy." Chris replied, puzzled by the way the monster of clothes acted.

"Maybe it found its way into something worse that itself." I-No said, pinching her nose. "Those cabins smell worse than that thing."

The creature was now crawling desperately, no more than a hand full of shirts clawing along the ground. It gave up only a foot away from the two casts of campers, trembling, on the brink of expiring. And then with its final breath hacked up a pair of very worn out, dirty, stained and very stinky pair of boxers, spitting them out onto the floor in an attempt to prolong its life, but it was already too late. It then gave up, collapsing onto the ground, returning to a lifeless mound of clothing.

Chris bowed his head. "You know guys…Even if it had tried to eat all of you, the cabins are a fate I wish on no one. That is, no one except you."

There was never so much hatred aimed at just one man, with the exception of Michael Atkinson.

Meanwhile, Tao, curiously pawed at the piece of cloth the monster spat while keeping her distance to avoid smelling it, using one of her sharp blade claws to lift it… "It says 'Owen' on the band, Smiley Man." The cat-girl said to the host, lifting the dirty briefs up and making everyone turn green. There were green vapors emanating from the cloth, not to mention several holes, possibly made by moths before the stench became too much to bear.

A certain camper's fame would never die.

XXXXXX

After watching Chef Hatchet in a biohazard suit grabbing the piece of clothing with pincers to burn it down, the campers were taken to the mess hall. Chris still kept his ever-perky grin, "Ladies and… hmm, can't call you gentlemen, can I?"

"Yawn-o-rama." Hazama said as he pretended to yawn, "Seriously, is that the best you can come up with to try to annoy us?" he asked with a slight sneer.

Chris scowled, "Don't interrupt me, ever."

Hazama shrugged and raised his hands in a faked defensive manner, "Come on, chill out, pal. We're all here to have fun."

The host regained his usual attitude of being casually calm and laidback, and motioned to the tables, "This is where you all will eat, and even have some good, old fashioned fun if you want to play games. The camp's still up for you guys to frolic around and try to entertain yourselves. But this freedom is mostly for the ratings, so don't think we won't keep our eyes on you."

"And I'll make sure your every-day life in here is Hell, Terumi."

Said ghost's eyes widened in horror at the sight of Kokonoe grinning evilly, Chris smiling perkily at her arrival, "Well, glad that you know each other. Kokonoe's helping us with the challenges by making them the most danger- I mean, fun that had ever graced this island. Also, she's our technician seeing as all others couldn't handle some minor problems of budget cut. But thanks to our anonymous benefactor and main sponsor, let's say that problem's already taken care of."

"Amen." The pink haired cat-woman said as she eyed Hazama venomously. "And I'm in here for the fun."

Hazama sweated nervously while grinning back at her, "Try your best, fur-ball. Just seeing you here makes me want to win just to mock everyone in here."

Ky raised a brow, "What did we miss?"

Tager sighed, "She hates his guts, more than several of us. Her reasons are understandable, but her methods… Those scare me, and I'm her assistant."

"Speaking of that." The pink haired scientist said as she glared at the red-skinned devil man, "Tager, you better win this tournament… Or your existence will be nuked."

*Sigh* "Yes, Kokonoe…"

Chris smirked, "Now, while you may be working for Kokonoe… Let's say we are like a family and treat each other equally, by royally ticking every single one of you off in fair, not personal manners."

Kokonoe spoke up, "Now form a line, it's time for brunch." She said as Chef Hatchet stepped from the kitchen, holding a large pot with something brown that emanated toxic fumes.

After grabbing trays and sitting in groups, the campers knew that their food was crap. It looked like crap, it smelled like crap, and it probably tasted like crap. They all sat in different groups of who got along better with the other as Kokonoe grabbed a large spoonful of the brown matter she and Chris called food and splattered it on the campers' trays, not even bothering to give them a plate, but she did give them glasses of orange juice… but it looked more like water painted with orange.

Sol sat peacefully in one table and smelled his plate, he grinned widely before starting to munch on it hungrily and with little to no manners. Ragna sat beside him, looking disgusted as he poked his brown matter with a spoon. The large bounty hunter watched Millia pass by, he waved at her, but when she looked at Ragna she turned away. The one to make them company was a timid Dizzy who calmly asked, "Is it okay to make you two company?" Sol waved dismissively with his spoon-free hand and the white haired man shrugged. She sat with a small smile, while her wings looked at the food with questioning looks, not many knew Dizzy's wings are powerful entities attached to her, some just looked weirdly at her for that or ran away when looking at two humanoids appear where feathers had been.

"Hey, Dragon Girl's meat-buns are real big!" a certain hyperactive Kaka girl said as she groped Dizzy from behind, making her blush and let out an involuntary moan.

"Hahaha! Oh, this is rich!" I-No laughed madly. "The little winged princess raped by a beast, this is better than any dream of mine."

Hazama joined her, "Damn right it is, babe! What's it feels, Raggy?! To know your little pet is closer to women than you, huh?"

"I know we're gonna get some curious reviews about that." Chris said with a perkier than usual grin while taking out his cell-phone and taking pictures.

"You gonna share the treasure, right partner?" Johnny asked the host with a smirk as he held a bleeding nose.

Ragna growled while covering his reddened face with one hand, "Tao, let her go, didn't Litchi teach you a damn thing about manners?!"

"Oh, but Dragon Girl's meatbuns are so soft and-"

"N-No… please…s-stop!" the winged girl begged in a louder moan.

"Ok, but Tao was having fun." the cat-girl said as she reluctantly let go of Dizzy's breasts.

After that, and cleaning several nosebleeds from the men, mostly from Johnny, the rest of the groups had been formed as all started to poke their food, though the only ones who seemed to eat it, and even enjoy it besides Sol, were Hazama and Noel, who had delighted expressions with food that had to be toxic on all levels of wrong. Platinum had dragged Bridget to one of the corners of the table, smiling widely as she thought she finally had a gal pal who thought she was the prettiest of them all. Carl sat beside Bang with Nirvana at his side, the ninja sat near Johnny, glaring into the pirate's soul while May sat looking dreamily at the two bare-chested men. Bang sat near Johnny just to keep him away from Litchi, who sat besides Arakune, who watched as Faust examined Zappa curiously while holding a bone-saw behind his back and the poor Australian possessed man was none the wiser of the intention of the two demonic men… well, man with paper bag and pike of goo.

Chipp, however, was more than ecstatic, "So, you're all Japanese?! Bravo! Banzai!" he asked the now nervous Tsubaki and Makoto while Noel sat with the squirrel girl in between her and the redhead, with Jam busy glaring at said redhead who glared back. Fortunately for Noel, Baiken and Anji sat at her side, both being bothered by the ninja wannabe too but being used to it they accepted it without problem. The swordswoman kept an evened glare at the two petit blond men, who she disliked due to her infamous reputation as a wanted person, nothing personal, she just disliked authority who could try to get her head in a platter. Hakumen sat silently in front of her, arms crossed and looking at both Jin and then at Ragna, making the grim reaper feel nervous.

Finally Millia sat at one corner of the table besides Rachel, the petite vampire feeding her familiars the awful food, even if they begged her to stop. Gii was hurt so he didn't put much of a fight, while Nago tried to escape with sweet-talk only to get mouthfuls shoved down his throat. The two blondes nodded at each other and remained silent while Millia brushed her hair and turned to look at Sol, before scowling at Ragna. The two trolls sat right beside them, both grinning from ear to ear.

"Terumi…" Rachel started.

"Hey, I thought I made it clear, I go by Hazama now, get it through your head, shitty vampire." The ghost said.

I-No chuckled, "That the best insult you got for the little princess here?"

"I prefer to be straight-forward, or as needed to make sure they don't enjoy my company." Hazama said with a shrug before biting on his meal, "And now I got a fine meal, and my favorite targets all here for me in this little competition…I couldn't ask for more."

Millia groaned, "Great, it's like having two red bitches."

"Thanks." Both trolls said before leaning towards one another and start making out.

To say the room was silent was an understatement. Everyone looked in horror as the two sucked faces in an actually gentle and soft manner. Hazama pulled I-No closer to him, an arm wrapped around his new girlfriend, and smirked, "To be considered to be like her… Oh, I just want to hear the stories about how she messed up your shit."

I-No cackled as she rested her head on his shoulder, "Trust me, they were fun. My forte is sex, as in making them feel how impotent they are, and how much luck they lack to be fully adults."

The campers did the same, at the same instant, and with the same words. They all got up, grabbed their plates, threw the contents in a garbage bin and turned to Chris, "We're going out."

Events as traumatizing as the two biggest evils in the universe making out in a loving manner were too much for human/Kaka/vampire/Gear/beast-kin/bat/cat/hybrid eyes. However, a certain choir boy seemed happy, "Miss I-No, I'm so happy for you." Bridget said with a smile, as clueless as ever about the witch's true nature.

"Oh, that's sweet of you, but you know…" she whispered as she got closer to him, "We could try to help each other, Choir Boy… Just think about us as a happy family of three and the finalists."

"You mean an alliance?"

Hazama grinned, he certainly liked the red witch, "Hey, she said family, kiddo… or rather, son…"

Bridget grinned, "Well, if I can help Miss I-No I'll be happy… But… Umm… It's kinda weird to be treated so nicely by two people I don't even know that much, but… Thanks, thanks for being such good people to me. I don't know why the others would leave, you make such a good couple."

Hazama leaned towards the witch, whispering, "Where do you get kids like this to do your bidding? Please, tell me, a lot of my plans would be so much more fun if I had someone like him under my command."

"I was lucky, I think." She replied with a wink before patting Bridget's head, "Say, Bri-baby… How about you go and play with the others while Hazama and I do some grown-up talk?" the boy nodded and walked off to meet either the Jellyfish Pirates or hat blonde Platinum girl.

Chris approached the duo with a scowl, "So much evil in you two, manipulating a little kid as innocent as him to do your cruel plans…" his smile shone so bright he could've blinded someone, " Can I be in on this? Think about it, broadcasting the other campers' pain around the world… Isn't it such a fun idea?"

"Hmm… What's in it for us?" Hazama calmly asked, "It's just that, as a professional, I don't trust other trolls. You know, just business."

"Hehehe… Well, this is just to see the reactions of the campers, but if you want I'd allow you to see their horrified expressions through our cameras and see them in their weakest moment."

"Why help us, then? Shouldn't this be against the rules?" I-No inquired.

Chris chuckled, "Let's say my benefactor has some plans… Ok, this plan isn't his, but it's more of a modification of my own to his original plan of watching these guys suffer through the hardest of ordeals: my challenges."

The duo of trolls thought it through… It was too good to be true, but no-one won anything without taking some risks.

XXXXXX

-I**-No**: Must say, this is probably the best thing That Man has thrown me into, and hey, a girl just needs her fun. Playing with Bridget has always been fun, little rascal gets to you, and you can't help but enjoy how innocent he is when beating the crap out of losers.

-**Hazama**: Heh, if Chris thinks he can call the shots, he's sadly mistaken. Yours truly is here to ruin EVERY single camper's fun like I do in my every day morning, it's a part of me that takes an almost sexual pleasure in doing so.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap! Damn... more than a year to update this chapter... Sorry, I've been truly lazy on this and this chapter being so short... I wanted to make it longer, but if I did so it'd have taken more, so I'll make the chapters short and try to take them out as soon as possible, ok? Be patient, and who knows, maybe next chapter comes out soon... like in six months. Just kidding!**

**Swordslinger out!**


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